Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Reminiscing

I haven't written in this in the longest time...I guess it's because I saw it to be insignificant...but then why did I create this blog in first place? Since the last blog, I have changed and learned more in this journey called life. Recently....I dated a person who I chershied, loved, and prayed for, for 8-9 years. I prayed that he would be happy and that God would lead...For about a year and half, we've been seeing each other somewhat. Due to my parents being against dating, it posed a challenge for me. Do I continue to see him? or just cut it off and hope that fate will put us together again in the future? I, being the vicitim of blind love "followed my heart." I secretly met him and did regretting things with him...I though God had put us together. As I am typing this and just reminiscing, thinking about what to type next, my heart just aches. Like many inexperienced young women say to themselves "I will never let a boy get to me like this," which I've said numerous times, I believed in a man's word. Not God's. Shortly before my rough break up, we decided to wait for each other. He kept telling me how he changed and changed. I didn't believe it and so, decided to meet up with him one more time to see if he really did change. To save myself from unnecessary tears, he didn't. Right there I told him that I didn't like him and that he can't make me happy. Latter, about 5 days or so, I believed that a good friendship could have been maintained between him and me. I texted him seeking somewhat reconiliation and in the end was called arrogant, stupid and pathetic. I realize he was speaking out of anger, and I forgive him. Just....now I can't believe all that time I could have been happy, I saccraficed it. ,my happiness for his. Heartbreaks are so cliche to write about, however people experience them somewhere in the world everyday.....No matter how difficult the situation is to find love, true, agape love is found in Christ. To the women out there, you are beautiful. Truly are. Don't let a man sway you with empty words. God has a plan. Trust him.
And to all my friends who kept telling me that he was no good for me, thank you for putting up with me. I am blessed to have you in my life.
To the person I love(ed). Though this blog may sound bitter, I still love you, as christ would love everyone. I just don' t think that a relationship will be formed easily. sorry.

The realization of true love is the most amazing high anyone can experience. The thing is, not everyone can feel true love. It's often found in lust, intimacy, or replaced feelings. That is why true love is difficult to find. However, with God all things are possible.